poker

its been hard lately. i was real close to breaking even, and now i realize im back to bein stuck 9k since my win at FTOPS. i really want to get back into the green. i feel like the deck is slapping me in the face, but as always when this happens i bring my game into question. seemed like i was bein read really easily today. i know a lot of people question there own game and if there good enough to make it, but for me its 10x as hard.

Most people who excell in poker are generally winners in many aspects of life. sports, prior hobbies, school. i seemed to be a failure in most of those categories up untill poker. i worked really hard at football but even with all the effort i was still only a mediocre player. ive put a lot of work into poker, but its hard for me to believe that i am actually good at this game. when you put it into perspective, i could just be a 19 year old with an extrodinary amount of luck. ive never really been good at anything in my life. and i really want to be a poker superstar. is it possible that someone whose been on the lower end of the spectrum most there life to excell in a particular game, and still be bad-mediocre at pretty much everything else?

a lot of people tell me they respect my game, and i am super intimidating to play with. and i just dont see it. i was even asked to to some videos for a new website. i like all the compliments but i feel like im being given too much credit at times (exspecially on days like these)

right now my main concentration is going to be getting back on top of my game, and trying to stand the test of time.